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The Men's Centerof Raleigh and Wake County |
| Archives |
The Men's Centerof Raleigh and Wake County |
December 1997
President's Message
This Newsletter is obviously much leaner than usual, and I suspect you may be wondering why. I told the Leadership Council members I wanted to write you and explain the reason for the "downsiz-ing." The first thing most of them suggested was to make sure I do not give you the impression the Men's Center is a sinking ship. I assure you that is not the case.
But, to follow that analogy, it would be safe to say the Men's Center is in dry dock for some long needed repair and maintenance. We, the members of the Leadership Council, along with the Elders' Council, are working very hard to get this ship sailing on an even keel again.
We decided to reduce the size of the Newsletter for budgetary reasons. It has always been our policy that the revenue from the support groups pays the rent for the offices we refer to as the "Men's Center." We are currently in a situation where this policy cannot operate. If each support group member pays his fair share, we still come up short on the rent. Unfortunately, we had to find the rent-money from somewhere else. Cutting back on the length of the Newsletter was the obvious choice. We are even considering shifting to a bimonthly publication for a while--a change not unprecedented at the Men's Center and one we plan to be only temporary.
We are in the process of trying to understand why support group participation has gone down in the past few years. We are also assessing if there are any needs for specific types of support groups for men in our community. If you have any suggestions for a special-interest support group, please let us know.
If you are not currently in a support group and feel the need to be in one, call Patrick Knox. If you know any men who desire to be in a group, please have him contact Patrick. We know some of the current groups could use a new member or two.
Be assured that having more men wanting to join a support group than we can place in existing groups is not a problem. We have office space available for new groups. We also have men who are trained to facilitate new groups and are willing to help groups get started. There are also Men's Center members who are able to help if you feel your group is waning or just needs to be rejuvenated. If your group is meeting "off campus," consider coming back to the Men's Center offices. All it takes is a phone call!
Another subject on my mind is Fred-erick's recent request for volunteers for committees. I have been going to the post office with a great deal of antici-pation, only to find myself feeling a real sense of sadness and disappointment. I don't mean to seem inpatient, but I am wondering why we have only received one response thus far. Let me assure you that what each one of you has to offer is vitally important to the repair and maintenance of our ship.
There is another area of disappointment and sadness for me. The Men's Center has recently sponsored two different men (Jeffery Duvall and Dale English) to present programs for us. One workshop was a men-only event, and one was for men and women. Both these men are well known and very knowledgeable and soul-filled. Yet there were not enough participants for these events to break even financially. I, along with the rest of the Leadership Council, are asking ourselves, "Why? Are we missing something here?" We know that the Spring Gathering has been a success. What is the difference? We need to know where to focus our energies concerning events such as these.
Last, I would like to request something that we at the Men's Center (to the best of my knowledge) have not done in the past. That is to ask that, in addition to contributing some sweat equity, you consider making a tax deductible financial contribution to the Men's Center. It is almost tax time, and we will be happy to provide you with a receipt if you want to make the donation for tax purposes.
Let me assure you the Leadership Council is working overtime in an effort to be good stewards. We are communicating with each other constantly, sometimes several times a week. We are working closely with the Elders' Council and relying on its wisdom.
My brothers, these are not rhetorical questions I have asked. If you have any concerns, questions, suggestion, or feedback, I would like to hear from you. Please leave a message on the Men's Center answering machine, drop a note to our post office box, or e-mail me via the Men's Center e-mail address. I (or someone on the Leadership Council) will get back to you within a few days.
Now all we need is your support to get this ship sailing again.
--Ron Blankenship
Leadership Council
The Leadership Council of the Raleigh Men's Center met on Thursday, November 6, at 7:15 PM, in the Johnson Street office. Present were Ron Blankenship, Marcus Copelan, Lee Elliott, Art Kirwin, John Marmaud, Wiegand Rodler, and Frederick Whitmeyer.
After our opening ritual (a reading of Keats' "To Autumn" in the presence of reddening leaves, an acorn, the seed-pod of a redbud), we noted the graciousness of Paul Tierney in offering his farm for our pot luck Fall Feast November 22. Frederick Whitmeyer and Lee Elliott volunteered to help with the feast-ritual. Art Kirwin offered to provide the rereshments.
Concerning the Newsletter, we agreed authors of articles should have the right to review their work after it has been edited--provided the article arrives by the deadline as published in the previous issue of the Newsletter. If an article arrives later, there may be no time for such a review. Writers were thus encouraged to meet the deadlines and so get the chance to look over edited copy.
We noted the high cost of producing and mailing the newsletter--around $450 a month over the past year--and decided to send out future issues by bulk mailing. We also considered publishing fewer issues a year, with fewer pages.
The Council members were distributed a letter from Charles Walker which raised important concerns. We were asked to study the letter and respond to Ron Blankenship. Ron indicated we should take up some of Charles's concerns in a future LC meeting.
Frederick Whitmeyer reported on the Dale English workshop held in October. He felt it was a moving, soul-filled event, nearly all the participants profoundly touched and enriched by it. However, attendance was so low it failed to break even financially, and The Men's Center incurred a loss. We discussed reasons for poor attendance at recent Men's Center events. We flailed and flailed, but could come up with no easy answers. We did agree, however, that the membership would have to tell us--somehow--what they want in the way of workshops.
Frederick noted the registration form inserted in the November newsletter. Men interested in joining a committee would fill out the form and return it the Men's Center P. O. Box. Frederick also proposed that a group of six-eight men meet to brainstorm topics for all the meetngs of 1998 and begin the search for facilitators.
John Marmaud presented a recent financial report and demonstrated that the Men's Center's assets are currently quite limited. In a following discussion we noted that two support groups using our office-space have disbanded, and one no longer meets there. This loss has reduced our revenue used for covering the monthly rent and telephone bill.
We lamented the loss of the drop-in support group, which had been created, partly, to feed existing groups with new members and to establish new support groups. We decided to consult with Patrick Knox and Charles Walker abut the possibility of reviving the drop-in group.
We discussed appealing to the membership for tax-deductible donatons to help carry us through until support groups increase sufficiently to cover our rent and office expenses.
After a suggestion that we meet jointly with the Elders' Council on some date in the near future, we closed with a ritual of deep breathing and a remembrance that autumn, with all its darkening and melancholy, has, in the words of John Keats, its own music, too.
--Art Kirwin
Many of you know Gregory Berns, a longtime member of the Men's Center. He recently gave us the blessings of his farm in Rolesville for our August picnic. Gregory has had a small stroke and is in Rex Hospital. He is much improved and is expected to fully recover.
John Plymale had these thoughts after visiting Gregory in the hospital:
"I was struck by how Deborah had transformed the usually dreary hospital room into a worship space. There were pictures of Mother Mearha and Meyer Baba in several places. There were flowers and plants. It was really quite beautiful. This leads me to ritual ideas for our upcoming Fall Feast: lots of flowers, pictures of holy ones, notes of prayer and encouragement, praise and thanksgiving. I was reading Henri Nouwen in preparation for my recent retreat. He was talking about a complete gratitude that embraces all of life, the good, the bad, and the ugly. A ritual that invites the participants to such a space of gratitude for Gregory might be good for the community and for him. Lots of flowers and singing. Much, much praise."
Thanks, John, for your soul-words.
Let us keep Gregory in our prayers and hope for his quick recovery.
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